Butch's 10 Rules of the Gym

Butch’s 10 Rules of the Gym
(Gym Etaquit)

1) Never Make Eye Contact – If you make eye contact with another dude you will definitely be labeled a Gaylord, so don’t do it. If you make eye contact with an excellent babe you’ll probably get a beat down by someone like me, cause she’s taken.

2) Can I work in – NO YOU MAY NOT ASS CLOWN! If I’m working the bench the last thing I need is some pipsqueak asking to cut in. Find your own machine nut sack!

3) Walking Through the locker room nude – What the fuck are you thinking!!! The last thing me or anybody else needs is to see is your goddamn veiny little dick swinging in the breeze. WEAR A TOWEL FUCK HEAD!

4) Leaving sweat on the machines – There’s always some fat turd sweating up a storm and leaving a pool of sweat on every machine he or she failed on. Wipe up your sweat fatso, its bad enough looking at you let alone lying in your fatty liquids.

5) Grunting and screaming – I’m sick of hearing newb bodybuilders grunting and screamin when there lifting some minuscule amount of weight! SHUT THE FUCK UP! You sound like little baby girls not men. You better pray I’m not around to hear your hollering cause I’ll put my size 13’s up your sphincter.

6) Steam room nudity – The deal is simple, if you’re in the steam room and naked you’re an ass bandit. Stick with the Zigfreid and Roy show. DITTO ON THE TOWEL FUCK HEAD!

7) Hair Gel – Message to all Latinos and Italians: Clean up the oil slicks that you leave on the benches. You dudes should definitely consider the dry look instead of looking like Don “fucking” Ameche.

8) Body odor – Wash your bodies and your friggin clothes! Some of you guys smell like stumble bums and some of you mamas smell like the shit house door on a tuna boat! WASH!!!!!!!

9) Farting – I know lifting 50 pounds puts so much pressure on some of you guys that you let out massive farts. The good news is your trying. The bad news is that your farts are sickening and me or someone else is going to fuck up your face. Save your farts for your wives and mothers.

10) Dropping the weights - If your lifting don’t fucking drop the weights. It scares the shit out of everyone and disrupts our karma. Once again, if you did this at the rip house I’d tear your cock off.

KEEP ON PUMPIN

Butch Suede